Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Success and Disapointment

I only got the internet turned on a few days ago, so this blog has been steadily and repeatedly delayed (not unlike my education!) but here it is! Aisha should now be temporarily mollified.

I posted back on may 30th that I had a job. Turns out that wasn't true, as I still had one more interview to go through, But I made it through the wilderness! I am now a Dominos manager in training. How much better than unemployed is this? Three.

I read Wicked recently. Here is a brief recap.

chapter the first: A magic dwarf with a mechanical dragon goes from town to town making people kill each other. Elphaba (wicked witch) is born! she is green. Also she has fangs. Also she has a glowy eye that can see into the future, and her first word is "Horrors".

Skip forward 16 years. Oz has become 1930s Poland, but the Jews are talking animals. The words "pogroms" and "discrimination" are thrown around a lot. elphaba is attending hogwarts. She has a little sister who has no arms. The magic dwarf makes a tiger rape a dude. For no reason. Just to make sure some steamy beastiality makes it into the book, because the author knows that books with NO tiger rape suck.

Skip forward 5 years. Elphaba is now a terrorist who is fighting for animal rights. Nothing happens for 8 chapters. she tries to kill some lady and fails. The magic dwarf gives her a magic book.

Skip forward 10 years. Elphaba has been a nun ever since her failed assassination. The head nun gives her a broom and tells her to go the desert. In the desert she meets a magic elephant who tells her "You are now a witch". She goes to a castle. Her little sister (with no arms) is now king of munchkinland.

skip forward 3 years. Elphaba discovers the broom can fly, then spends all her time sewing pigeon wings onto monkeys to make flying monkeys. Elphaba is now called "The Wicked witch of the west", and her armless sister is now called "the wicked witch of the east" why? The denizens of Oz are apparently terrified by armless women and pigeon mutilation. Dorothy kills Elphaba with some water, The end. Oh and the talking animal terrorist movement and the magic rape/murder dwarf are never explained or resolved. Oh and her sharp teeth disappear at some point, and her ability to see the future never seems to come up again or matter either.

Basically the whole book is nonsense hodgepodge with tons of random shit that never amounts to anything. The musical is pretty decent though. Which reminds me, I want to see Rock of Ages.

When I was at the theater to see The Avengers for the third (glorious) time, I saw this teaser for an upcoming show (slightly NSFW)

Now, ever since I saw Heartbreakers as a thirteen year old hormone sack, I have loved me some Jennifer Love. THAT trailer was enough to make me schedule a spot for The Client List between Game of Thrones (yeah, this blog has been a while in the making) and Legend of Korra.

I watched the first two episodes of the show. Turns out that men who visit a prostitute just want someone to talk to, NOT someone to engage in the sexytimes with. Maybe the Client List is great for women in the worlds oldest profession that felt that the Lifetime Network was not adequately empowering them, But all "I" wanted was for J-love to run around prostituting herself. Waste of time.

I have a lot more to write about, but this thing is already getting up there in length, so look forward to another silly nonsense blog filled with my opinions in the coming days.

1 comment:

  1. is that my copy of Wicked that you summarized all wrong?