Saturday, May 19, 2012

Another Wikiventure

Earlier today I was wondering what the word "Lovecraftian" meant. I hear it sem-frequently, and yet had no idea. Google to the rescue! Starting with googling "Lovecraftian" and clicking the wiki article "H.P Lovecraft"...

H.P. Lovecraft - The Rats in the Walls - Nyarlathotep - Cthulhu Mythos - Deep Ones - Dagon - Pantheon (gods) - Armenian Mythology - Armenia - Gavar - Cyclopean Masonry - Hayravank Monastery - Moses of Chorene - Hovnatanyan family - Saint Petersburg - Tsar Peter the Great - Russian Empire - List of Largest Empires - Mongol Empire - Ghengis Khan - Mongol military tactics and organization - Lamellar armour - Ō-yoroi - Samurai

At this point, I realized that four and a half hours had passed, and that my left leg was asleep. Damn you wikipedia! *shakes fist*

I have been searching for a job recently, and I answered perhaps ten or fifteen craigslist ads for jobs. I've gotten four replies! Unfortunately, none of them were for an actual job. Two simply sent me an ad to the same site that was saying "Use this site to post your resume, 5.95 a month". One was a little more clever, the email they sent was "Thank you for your application, to continue the process, please use this third party site blah blah blah fuck you."

The kicker though was two days ago, I got this email. I changed the name of the company and the mans name in the slim chance that it IS a real job.

Greetings Zach,

My name is John Doe and I’m the senior staffing coordinator at Possibly Fake Company, LLC.

I am pleased to inform you that you are being extended a tentative offer of employment for the available warehouse position within our company.

As mentioned in the posting, this position pays a competitive salary, plus benefits, and also provides potential to earn both pay increases and growth opportunities into supervisory and management positions. We are taking on new employees rapidly at this time, and are willing to make you an employment proposal, provided that you comply with the rest of the enrollment provisions.

This is a full-time position. Based on your previous experience and physical ability, you will be working either inside the warehouse in packing and shipping, outside on the truck-loading team, or operating a forklift. These jobs vary in pay as well as physical and mental demands. Your initial salary will be based on your experience level, as well as the results of your preliminary strength and logic aptitude exams. Some experience working in a warehouse setting is preferred, but not essential, as fully paid training will be given if necessary.

To comply with these terms and carry on to the last stage of the recruitment process, you are required to supply us with an up-to-date copy of your credit report to go in your employment record. We have a zero-tolerance policy in regards to theft of company property. Your score or payment history do not matter; rather it’s a safe method of verifying your identity, and will also serve as your acceptance of the position.

Your no cost report can be obtained here:

This link is unique to you! Once you have this completed please email me so that we may move forward. Do NOT include your SSN or any private information in any emails. We will in turn email you your new hire paperwork and give the times for your orientation.

Thank you again, and congratulations for being invited to join Possibly Fake Company, LLC.! If you have any questions, feel free to contact me directly. Have a great day.

Yours Sincerely,

John Doe
Sr. Hiring Manager

I clicked the link, and started to fill out information until it wanted my social security number. I then discovered that the page URL was "" but the page itself claimed to be "". This seemed fishy to me, so I googled "" to go directly to the website and avoid any shenanaginizing. What do I discover? The following two websites are the second and third search results is a scam and Avoid Craigslist Credit Report Scams!.

I sent back an email to the guy saying "You sent me a scam, but if the job is real, I am still interested!" He has not yet responded.

By the way I need a job, so if anyone has an extra that they aren't using, I would really appreciate you letting me borrow it until I can get one of my own. Thanks!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Of Drunkards and Heroes

I like to tell people that I follow politics, but I am too lazy to do any of the research myself. This is why I rely on The Daily Show and The Colbert Report to tell me what I am supposed to think and feel. At the end of the show, a guest comes on to talk about something or other, and last week, Diane Keaton was the guest. Watch this please. You won't be disappointed.

Is she high, or drunk? Or both? I CANT TELL. In any case, this video is hilarious, and one of the better things I've seen in recent months. With one very notable exception...

THE AVENGERS. Oh. Em. Gee. Go see this movie. It is awesome. Anyone who knows me knows I have an irrational and borderline zealous love of The Lord of the Rings, but this movie might possibly be better than it. It is that good. Joss Whedon is the director, which is an excellent start. He was a little involved (sarcasm) in a show called Firefly* that was solid gold from start to finish. (if you don't know what that is... shame on you.) He shows his God-like abilities in full force here. Even though the movie has a HUGE cast of characters, somehow every one of them feels equally important and gets at least one "I'm a motherf***ing badass" moment. If you are a straight man, or a woman with similar inclinations, Scarlett Johansson wears THAT OUTFIT (see right) and flips around all over the place being Hot. Ok she also kicks ass and does cool stuff, but she looks GOOD while doing it. Her presence would make even a shitty movie 3/5 stars, but in a 5/5 movie? Its just not fair how good this movie is.

I have always been a huge fan of the hulk from the 60's-70's comics, and I never felt like the hulk movies really did him justice... until now. Every scene where the hulk appears becomes the very best scene that you've even seen in your entire life. Until you see the next scene with the hulk. If you are anything like me (doubtful but lets roll with it) You have had many conversations in your life that followed this structure:

Who would win in a fight, A-Man or B-Man? B can control animals, but A is faster and has laser eyes...

Needless to say I nerdgasmed almost solidly for the full 2 hours 23 minutes. I feel dirty, but I like it.

I recently discovered Yardsellr, a nifty little site connected to facebook that lets you buy and sell stuff. I made 50 bucks selling a few of my old magic cards last week, which is super awesome since I am not swimming in money at the moment. If you like buying and selling stuff, you should check it out!

*This is a link to watch Firefly for free online, so if you were one of those sad people that didn't know what it was (shame on you again!) then you can correct this by clicking the link