Ehrmagerd iza blerg

      Like that friend that shows up at your door once every six months around 11pm and wants to sleep on your couch, my blog returns, filled with gusto and likely to leave unexpectedly at any moment! I've done all manner of stupidly adult-esque things since my last post, including getting a new job, setting a budget, taking my car to a real life mechanic, and, bathing!

      I decided to put on some music to help increase the flow of creative juices from my think-brain onto the screen, and chose my Bruno Mars radio station. I thought I liked Bruno Mars, until I realized that I really only like the songs "Runaway" and "Grenade". Also apparently Taylor swift is in the same genre as Bruno? I ran out of "dislikes" in about 6 minutes, and then just switched back to my Dragonforce/Flogging Molly/Capercaillie station.

Speaking of fluids, for the last few days my nose has been an unsealable conduit of mucus. The liters/sec flow on my face-faucet is roughly equal to that of a small waterfall. This pile of tissue was created between 8 pm and 3 am. and no I didn't put them in the trash. Sidenote, I have completely forgotten how to format these things so there is not a gigantic break in the text on the side of the picture. Opportunity for improvement!

New Girl was by far my favorite show in existence for its first season, but season 2 has been mostly disappointing to me so far. Zooey Deschanel is on my "hit" list for sure, but the show has lost a lot of its appeal as the plot has had an ever-heavier emphasis on sex. Now don't get me wrong, I love me some sex, but it has its place! Some of my favorite shows, like Game of Thrones, Archer and porn already have tons of sex in them. It was nice for there to be a very funny show that had sex as sort of a side issue, not the main focus. Eh, can't win em all.

Dragonforce was starting to make me want to club a baby seal, so I switched over to my good ole' Ray Charles/James Brown. I swear I should have been born a black Irishman in the late 60's for the way my music taste seems to orient itself. Alas, I am white, Italian and sadly without soul. By the way if anyone knows how to share a pandora station as a link, and not just as a "pandora link" It would be fun to link to my stations here.

There is an unfortunate lack of good sci-fi out right now. There was a disappointing teaser for a while that a new Star Trek tv show was in the making, but nothing really came of that. As fun as swords and sorcery are, sometimes a guy just wants to know how re-configuring the flow of the matter anti-matter reaction will increase the terradyne/ns output of the warp core enough to escape the gravity pull of a quasar. You know, science!

Snow still sucks.

Cooking and Sech

Every time in the last four years or so that I have happened to catch a glimpse of myself naked in the mirror, I have immediately declared "I am going to work out every day, and eat only healthy food, starting tomorrow!" Then tomorrow comes along, and I rephrase my statement "I'll work out every other day, and eat better!" By the time day three comes along, and I buy two McDoubles and a large fry on my way home from work, My grandiose claims are as forgotten as that chick I met at that thing that time. Katelyn? Bathsheba? idk.

Roughly 15 days ago, I once again saw myself in the mirror, and decided that changes were in order. I went out and bought healthy food, pulled my p90x dvds out from behind my copy of FFXIII (I'll finish it. I will!) and... actually did the workouts, and actually ate healthy food! for more than a week! I'll admit I'm not sticking to the diet exactly, but when you've lived primarily on ramen and frozen pizza for the better part of 24 years, replacing even two of your three meals with veggies, good proteins and vitamins is a very significant accomplishment that I am not ashamed to brag about.

Unfortunately, people who live the better part of 24 years on ramen and frozen pizza also tend to lack the ability to prepare food that isn't flash frozen on a Chinese assembly line. I decided that I was going to learn to cook shit, and then told number one to make it so.

My first goal was to make chicken. This actually turned out to be easy, you just put it on the grill until the middle isn't pink. Done! Sadly, with little effort comes little reward. I discovered plain chicken without batter to be edible only in the broadest sense of the word; eating it doesn't seem to cause instant death, but my taste buds wished they were dead.

OK, I just need to make some kind of sauce to conceal the taste of ass. Honey-Chile sauce! sounds great! I excitedly acquired all the ingredients and followed the directions until I got to the step "Bring to a boil, then reduce by half. Add to blender and blend until smooth". Wtf does that mean? I assumed it meant "Reduce the temperature to half" so I did. Just after it stopped boiling, I dumped the contents into the blender, firmly held the lid down with my hand, and hit the button.

A geyser of almost-boiling fluid blasted upwards with enough force to knock the lid off the blender, burning my hand in the process. The kitchen was covered in steaming hot liquefied honey-Chile sauce, which believe it or not is as sticky and hard to remove as those really old lollipops you find stuck to the carpet.

Cooking is hard.